One morning January morning years ago, I spent time with Abba. Here is the dialogue I wrote in my journal:
Lord, I come in this precious gift of time. I come.
Immediately I have an inner vision. I see us sitting on the top of a mountain looking out over the hills and cities below. The view is muted blues and greys softened and blended, objects merge in one as if the painter has taken his dry brush and lightly swept over the canvas obliterating all distinction.
“What do you see Beloved?”
It’s a softened landscape Lord. It is difficult to pick out landmarks or anything clearly. Feels far removed and I feel powerless to do anything about any part of it, even if You asked me.
“Drink in the peace Beloved. Look into My eyes.”
I want to Lord, I don’t know how.
Yeshua puts His hands on both side of my face and turns me to Him.
“What do you see?”
All I see is fire. I cannot see Your face, only fire.
“My anger burns at religion that has turned your face from Me. It has veiled your eyes from the beauty and depth of My love for you. It has turned you instead to a list of rules and measurements, criteria to judge your performance.”
“Remember the scripture I showed you so many years about Paul, “I do not judge myself. The one who judges me is the Lord? I Corinthians 4:3-5?”
Yes, I remember.
“The landscape you saw of muted shapes and color—the distance and powerlessness you felt, Mary Ellen, that is how I want you to see your life. I am not asking you to change anything, that’s My job. Your job is to keep your eyes on Me. To be with Me in the world but seated in heavenly places; interacting with others and yourself from this vantage point. Fully aware of your powerlessness to fix or change anything and also fully believing that I have ALL power and desire and am about the business of changing, renewing, recreating ALL in My image of love and joy, peace and patience, goodness, kindness, long-suffering, humility and faithfulness. Against such there is NO law—Torah isn’t against any of these.”
Father, what am I doing that you want me to leave undone? Is there anything?
“Yes, self-criticism. If it opens its mouth, ask Me for My input and bring it under submission to My ruling.”
Lord, give me Your language, fill my mind and my mouth with Your ruling about my life.
1 Corinthians 4:3-5 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. 4 For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God.
Philippians 1:3-6 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, 5 for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;
Ephesians 2:4-7 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.