There’s been a change of seasons here and I am not speaking of the weather patterns or the political climate. Solomon wrote, “To everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Some of you know and others do not, that the enemy targeted my wonderful husband with kidney issues for forty years. By God’s amazing grace, we’ve countered with prayers of faith, declarations of God’s word, and diet changes. These tools kept him alive through two open-heart surgeries, a year-long unknown virus in 2018-2019, and Covid in 2020. Still, his kidney function plummeted requiring him to begin dialysis in March of 2021. 

For a year he drove to the Dialysis Clinic three times a week. He went through treatment to clean his blood of all the toxins his kidneys no longer removed. On those days, he came home weak and feeling beat up. He had no appetite, was plagued with depression, and could barely function. The following day was a bit better but it was back to the clinic again the next day to start over. 

Weekends provided a short window of reprieve. Yet, as the months wore on his depression increased and he lost almost 50lbs. We looked to God for answers. We consulted with his doctors and caregivers and decided to try home dialysis. While it meant taking on a new way of living at home, it would free him from the clinic visits and needles in his arm three times a week. The home dialysis we chose is done primarily at night while he sleeps, through a catheter in his abdomen. There are no needles involved. (If you want to know more about this procedure, check out this link) 

All these changes began in January. He spent another four days in the hospital because he was having trouble breathing. When your kidneys aren’t functioning, fluid that normally passes through them builds up in your system. You develop congestion in your chest cavity limiting your breathing and putting pressure on your heart. Only dialysis, to drain the fluid, can bring relief. More frequent dialysis was needed. It was time to make a change. 

We waited until the end of March for the availability of the eight days of training required. We learned how to do dialysis with and without a machine. The training ended on March 31, and we began on April 1. 

There was so much to get used to, especially for my husband. Nine and a half hours in bed every night. Fluid is pumped into your abdomen and then remains in you for almost 2 hours. it is then drained out and begins again three more times. Nothing about this is in any way ‘normal.’ The treatment lasts 9.5 hours while you are tethered to the machine. Neither of us is sleeping much. 

Here are a few of the supplies now residing in our bedroom. This is about a month’s supply:

Today we are celebrating our first complete week, even though our brand-new machine died last night from an internal electrical problem. We are expecting a new machine today. 😊 

My reason for writing and telling you all this is to in part explain my lack of writing. Ninety percent or more of my writing is generated by Holy Spirit prompting me to do so. As I’ve gone to Him through this season, all I’ve heard over and over is, “REST.” He knew much more than I that rest would be needed for the new assignments before us. 

So, I’ve been silent. I am still not sure when He will direct me to write again, but I believe He will. I believe He prompted me to write today because some of you are going through similar challenges. It may not be health-related but challenges nonetheless. You need to know you are not alone and God’s grace can and will see you through. 

God did not bring this on us to teach us something, nor is He punishing us for unrepented sin, etc. It is the enemy’s doing. He is the only one who kills, steals, and destroys. God gives life, love, joy, and peace. There is good fruit coming out of all this. 

My husband and I are growing in grace for one another. We are learning lessons of humility when we try so hard to get things right and they still fail. We realize more than ever before that God alone must direct and supply everything or it won’t be accomplished. We are praying more over the details of our lives and submitting to Him in everything. 

He is preparing us for even greater challenges ahead so we will be at peace and possibly help others be at peace too. God loves us and each of you more than we can begin to imagine. He knows the end from the beginning and is constantly preparing us for victory for the things that we don’t see yet. And, He is always with us, right in the middle of the mess, giving us all we need to come through as winners.

Cry out for His help. Listen to what He says and act on His instruction. You will find rest for your soul. 

This morning as I talked with Him again about not writing, He led me to open Andrew Murray’s book, Abide in Christ. I randomly opened to Day 23 and read this:

“Our calling can never be a work that we have to perform. It must be the result of the spontaneous outflowing of life from within and the mighty inworking love from above.”

He goes on to say, “Jesus is calling, ‘Soul, be still and listen. Let every thought be hushed until the Word has entered your heart too…Abide in my love, even as I abide in the Father’s love.’”

Jesus fully humbled Himself. He set aside His identity, His desires, and good ideas and let Abba call the shots. (Philippians 2) If we are to be like Him, we can do no less. 

So, until He calls, I pray that each of you will take time to talk with Him, listen to His directions, act on them, and trust that He will supply all that you need. Shalom ♥

Photo by Mario Dobelmann on Unsplash